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Kataro Fuma
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PostSubject: Masamune   Sun Nov 04, 2012 9:18 pm



Name:Masamune
Type: katana.
Quantity: one
Description: Masamune has a three foot blade and a five point five inch hilt with a sweet spot in the middle of the blade making it a slicing weapon. The hilt of the blade is covered in saphire silk which is wovened to shape five diamonds along the hilt.
Abilities: Masamune was considered a holy blade yet the only thng it truely offered was reflexes by 15% and chakra conrol by 12% these ablitites have the potentional of growth but only if the wielder commits himself to upholding the family tradition of only using one blade at a time .the weilder has to pour around 40% of their chakra for a prolonged effect which last for about four posts.
Durability: tempered steel the blades are continusaly sharpened to keep them in ready to use shape while the hilts and guards are replaced every year and the old ones a repaired and retempered for the current owners grip .
History: Masamune is the mystical sword passed down through the Fuma family since the great swordsmen Jushiro Fuma the blade was forged by the greatest blacksmith in the land of southern frost Masamune. The blade was crafted from steel mined in the land of red sands Due to the strict secericy the blades were only passed to the desendant that proved themselves worthy either by competing the training or in a time of extreme danger the blades will be given to the most able family member . Fujiasu Fuma was one of the few family members who broke the taboo of wielding both blades at one time as a result he poured too much chakra into his attacks and was unable to recover from the strain . With the loss of fujiasu the family adopted the practice of only wielding one sword at a time to lessen the strain of prolonged use. To this day every head of the family has taught their childeren how to fight with only one sword out of all of the current generations kataro is the only one who showwed promise fighting with only one blade while the rest showwed expert skill in dual wielding for this kataro at the age of sixteen was given masamune to help protect the village .
Appearance:Masamue has an topaz bead attached to a deep saphire hilt other then that its a basic katana .

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Last edited by Kataro Fuma on Mon Nov 19, 2012 4:31 am; edited 13 times in total
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Takeshi
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PostSubject: Re: Masamune   Mon Nov 05, 2012 5:45 am

To start, a few times in this you dont have a space between the : and the following word. Moving on from that onto whats written here, Grade A steel isnt really a thing, there is Grade A meat and high quality steel but when it comes to an application it doesnt cut it. If you are wanting something that is like steel but not quite as strong as titanium then you will want either tempered or reinforced steel. For the type, put the class of sword this is and not what is there now, for example Katana, Longsword or even Rapier would go there not a short description about length and sweet spots. Staying on that part, what do you mean by sweet spot? Is that part of the blade weaker or something which would result in it being closer to iron durability in that area? Spell/Grammar check most all of this especially around the history, this seems to be a theme with you man so go back and read things before posting or at least post and read it yourself to double check to edit. To my understanding Southern Frost and Red Sand are not and have never been trading partners but thats something small and can be overlooked due to the absence of the person in charge of that country's lore. Samurai swords, while technically not always katana, are a tad bit larger than a foot long. Most asian daggers are around that size if not a bit bigger, perhaps you are not including the hilt in that length? If so you need to put that one in as well or just include an overall length of blade and handle combined. In appearance we generally ask for an image as the description section is for using words to describe the weapon but if you really feel no image is close enough to your potential weapon then at least put some actual effort into it. Finally the ability, not sure what you are meaning by chakra control but if its reducing chakra used in a technique it is denied. Also as a warning, a 30% increase to anything through a weapon is going to cost a gigantic amount that will take quite a long time to earn.

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Kataro Fuma
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PostSubject: Re: Masamune   Mon Nov 05, 2012 3:52 pm



The sweet spot of a blade is where it can do the most damage there are sword such as the jain which is know as the gental mens sword the blade is primaly a thrusting weapon so the sweet is the tip not the enitre blade which was used in the three kingdom era of china

a katana foraged from iron which is then temepered over a hundred to create an ultra strong yet light weight blade each blacksmith has their signature creation though muramasa and masamune are blade fabricated in legend they hold the design of a traditional katana please don't make me explain this again I prefer keeping my information to myself

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Takeshi
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PostSubject: Re: Masamune   Mon Nov 05, 2012 8:33 pm

Mkay well the first paragraph explained the sweet spot thing rather well and I'll be talking to our weapons specialist about this concept since its something new that adds power to a blade. The second paragraph however confuses me since all you really did was explain what a katana is and then say you want to keep information to yourself. If you mean information about how this type of weapon is made irl then Im already aware of that as is most everyone on the site so Im not sure what you mean there. But anyway, still some things I asked for before that still need correcting so lets get on those before I look again to see if there is any more.

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Kataro Fuma
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PostSubject: Re: Masamune   Mon Nov 05, 2012 10:20 pm

fair enough bro

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PostSubject: Re: Masamune   Tue Nov 06, 2012 5:03 am

mkay, well since there are still some things from the first reply still needing to be done so I'll just be waiting until all that is done before moving on here.

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Kataro Fuma
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PostSubject: Re: Masamune   Mon Nov 12, 2012 6:32 pm

Hopfully masamune is ready I reduced the enchanements to twelve and fiffteen percent

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PostSubject: Re: Masamune   Mon Nov 12, 2012 6:39 pm

The description makes it sound like a foot long knife without even a handle so you may want to look into that before we move along

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Kataro Fuma
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PostSubject: Re: Masamune   Mon Nov 12, 2012 6:43 pm

Fixed

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PostSubject: Re: Masamune   Mon Nov 12, 2012 6:53 pm

Alright since Im going to guess at this point these are your first weapons ever. As such I am going to suggest you read some other weapon apps to get an idea of the quality we expect for at least bare minimum

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PostSubject: Re: Masamune   Mon Nov 12, 2012 7:15 pm

Is this any better :/ Fixed I think

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PostSubject: Re: Masamune   Tue Nov 13, 2012 3:06 pm

not really, no. a basic rule of thumb since Im guessing you didnt actually read any other weapon app like I suggested is that you need at least a solid paragraph

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