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 Yukiyami Clan

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Nami
Shimokage
Nami


Posts : 245
Ryo : 53300

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PostSubject: Re: Yukiyami Clan   Yukiyami Clan I_icon_minitimeFri Sep 07, 2012 4:36 pm

Name: Hidden Blizzard Jutsu
Code:
When the jutsu is cast is everyone who enters the blizzard affected?

Name: New Moon's Grasp (Stage 1)
Code:
So what causes them to be caught in the jutsu, seeing the snow or what?

Name: Ice Blade (Stage 1)
Code:
 Durability per size

Name: Ice Clone/ Substitution
Code:
How long do these clones last?
Code:
How many can be created at once and how many can be made per topic?

Name: Ice Blade (Stage 2)
Code:
Again, Durabilties per size

Name: Hyoton: Bunshin Daibakuha (Ice Form: Clone Great Explosion)
Code:
"Regardless of distance" No you can't push someone who is about 90 feet away from you back 20 more feet no they have to be within a certain distance.

Code:
Name:Hikyuu Summoning
Code:
Be sure to register all users of this clan's leopards in the summoning section
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Mizuki
Genin
Mizuki


Posts : 23
Ryo : 3200

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PostSubject: Re: Yukiyami Clan   Yukiyami Clan I_icon_minitimeFri Sep 07, 2012 6:02 pm

Edit Bump!
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Dominic Edrick
Shiokage
Dominic Edrick


Posts : 971
Ryo : 64600

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Yukiyami Clan Left_bar_bleue410/410Yukiyami Clan Empty_bar_bleue  (410/410)

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PostSubject: Re: Yukiyami Clan   Yukiyami Clan I_icon_minitimeFri Sep 07, 2012 6:22 pm

Lol, I love how you put your warning of the pet shop. Hilarious. Now, even though Nami is going through the entire clan, I still want to point out, even though you added the pet shop rules, you didn't change the wording in stage two of the kekkei genkai. It still speaks of summoning and blood contracts. You can keep the blood contract as a taboo ritual type deal, but they can't be summons. The pet is either always with you, or has to be in the topic with you in order to fight alongside.

Ex: It can't mysteriously appear after not mentioning it for 5 posts in a topic.

Change the Stage 2 wording please, or you will be stoned, and I'm talkin baked..
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Mizuki
Genin
Mizuki


Posts : 23
Ryo : 3200

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PostSubject: Re: Yukiyami Clan   Yukiyami Clan I_icon_minitimeFri Sep 07, 2012 6:42 pm

-Edit Bump!
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Nami
Shimokage
Nami


Posts : 245
Ryo : 53300

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Yukiyami Clan Left_bar_bleue320/320Yukiyami Clan Empty_bar_bleue  (320/320)

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PostSubject: Re: Yukiyami Clan   Yukiyami Clan I_icon_minitimeFri Sep 07, 2012 7:19 pm

Name: Ice Clone/ Substitution
"The time limit in which the clones last goes as follows: 6-10 minutes, 5-20 minutes, 4-30 minutes, 3-40 minutes, 2-50 minutes, 1- Over an hour."
Code:
For technical purposes can you to post duration instead because no one can really judge how long it is in minutes or hours.

Name:Hyoton: Yuki Hikyuu (Ice Style: Snow Leopard)
Code:
Will need a large amount of snow/ice to produce this tech,
 Once per topic ofcourse
 tone the speed down to about 120 at the most.
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Mizuki
Genin
Mizuki


Posts : 23
Ryo : 3200

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PostSubject: Re: Yukiyami Clan   Yukiyami Clan I_icon_minitimeFri Sep 07, 2012 8:25 pm

-Edit Bump!
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Dominic Edrick
Shiokage
Dominic Edrick


Posts : 971
Ryo : 64600

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PostSubject: Re: Yukiyami Clan   Yukiyami Clan I_icon_minitimeFri Sep 07, 2012 9:18 pm

I'm gonna wait until Nami is finished, but I see a few things I want to elaborate on bc you need two approvals anyway. Just giving you a heads up.
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Nami
Shimokage
Nami


Posts : 245
Ryo : 53300

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PostSubject: Re: Yukiyami Clan   Yukiyami Clan I_icon_minitimeFri Sep 07, 2012 9:21 pm

Go ahead on your points Dom, for the moment I am done please do say what you have to say.
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Dominic Edrick
Shiokage
Dominic Edrick


Posts : 971
Ryo : 64600

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PostSubject: Re: Yukiyami Clan   Yukiyami Clan I_icon_minitimeSat Sep 08, 2012 4:00 pm

Hidden Blizzard - I'm not a fan of how it exactly replicates the hidden mist. With it being a blizzard, maybe add the temperature it has to be, and also how fast the snow falls. If its depending on ow the user wants it, expand on the variations.

Ice Shuriken - For a D Rank technique, 60 mph is excessive. Also, 19 yards isn't a long distance. Kids can throw shuriken 19 yards easy. I'll allow some expansion on that.

Ice Style: Body Flicker - There really isn't a difference here between this one and the real body flicker. If you choose to use this one, it needs to involve actual ice. If it does get approved, you won't be able to purchase the original body flicker.

For now, work on these and I will continue.
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Mizuki
Genin
Mizuki


Posts : 23
Ryo : 3200

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PostSubject: Re: Yukiyami Clan   Yukiyami Clan I_icon_minitimeThu Sep 13, 2012 9:47 pm

--Edit Bump--
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Dominic Edrick
Shiokage
Dominic Edrick


Posts : 971
Ryo : 64600

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PostSubject: Re: Yukiyami Clan   Yukiyami Clan I_icon_minitimeThu Sep 13, 2012 10:19 pm

Freezing temp in Fahrenheit is 32 degrees. So you should word that at the most, the temp can be 50 degrees, not at least.

Dream State - Is this an escape only technique?

Ice Clone - Read Namis second post concerning this. He asked you to change it to how many posts it lasts, not length of time. Please change.
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Mizuki
Genin
Mizuki


Posts : 23
Ryo : 3200

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PostSubject: Re: Yukiyami Clan   Yukiyami Clan I_icon_minitimeFri Sep 14, 2012 8:30 am

Okay, another edit bump, but I'm not sure how many posts I should make the ice clones last... Do you mind helping me?

I'd appreciate a rough estimate, a chart, anything. Thanks.
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Dominic Edrick
Shiokage
Dominic Edrick


Posts : 971
Ryo : 64600

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Yukiyami Clan Left_bar_bleue410/410Yukiyami Clan Empty_bar_bleue  (410/410)

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PostSubject: Re: Yukiyami Clan   Yukiyami Clan I_icon_minitimeFri Sep 14, 2012 9:25 am

Ice Blade - At this rank it needs a maximum length to the blade as it is only C Rank.

Ice Clone - For now, just say they melt after 5 posts. The staff is going to be fine tuning the clone techniques for everyone, so this will suffice for now.
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Mizuki
Genin
Mizuki


Posts : 23
Ryo : 3200

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PostSubject: Re: Yukiyami Clan   Yukiyami Clan I_icon_minitimeSun Sep 16, 2012 1:52 pm

Okay.. Edit Bump again, but yet again I'm having issues with stuff. I don't know what to do for measurements on the blades... I've never done this before, and I am quite sorry if I seem kinda pathetic for asking for so much help.

I should have been more prepared... *facedesk*

So, can you throw a chart my way or something. I'd appreciate it.
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Dominic Edrick
Shiokage
Dominic Edrick


Posts : 971
Ryo : 64600

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Yukiyami Clan Left_bar_bleue410/410Yukiyami Clan Empty_bar_bleue  (410/410)

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PostSubject: Re: Yukiyami Clan   Yukiyami Clan I_icon_minitimeSun Sep 16, 2012 2:12 pm

For stage one of ice blade just make it to where the blade extends 1 1/2 ft. from the end of your hand. Metal isn't specific. Just say steel durability.

Ice explosion - We are gonna come back to this one later.

Ice Blade Stage 2 - The blade sharpens almost three times more. So no. It's only one rank higher, so the power should only increase 20%. Metal is too vague, just say reinforced steel. What type of metal. Increase length from the C rank blade by 20% for this jutsu as well.
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Mizuki
Genin
Mizuki


Posts : 23
Ryo : 3200

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PostSubject: Re: Yukiyami Clan   Yukiyami Clan I_icon_minitimeTue Sep 25, 2012 9:02 am

Edit Bump! Fixed after much math.... *despises math*
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Dominic Edrick
Shiokage
Dominic Edrick


Posts : 971
Ryo : 64600

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Chakra:
Yukiyami Clan Left_bar_bleue410/410Yukiyami Clan Empty_bar_bleue  (410/410)

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PostSubject: Re: Yukiyami Clan   Yukiyami Clan I_icon_minitimeTue Sep 25, 2012 12:24 pm

New Moons Grasp Stage 2 - This is a Genjutsu, not a ninjutsu. If you trap someone within an illusion, you cannot inflict damage while they are in it. That's too OP. However, you can say that the freezing temperatures can cause exhaustion once the genjutsu breaks. It needs a duration and a cooldown.
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Mizuki
Genin
Mizuki


Posts : 23
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PostSubject: Re: Yukiyami Clan   Yukiyami Clan I_icon_minitimeMon Oct 08, 2012 11:00 pm

-Edit Bump. I think... On to the explosion?-
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Dominic Edrick
Shiokage
Dominic Edrick


Posts : 971
Ryo : 64600

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Yukiyami Clan Left_bar_bleue410/410Yukiyami Clan Empty_bar_bleue  (410/410)

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PostSubject: Re: Yukiyami Clan   Yukiyami Clan I_icon_minitimeTue Oct 09, 2012 12:59 pm

Actually, on to the S Rank first. The wording of this is very similar to the snake mouth jutsu. Which is fine, however, do you have to be on a mountain for this since you reference avalanche? This is for technicality only. Second, is the damage exactly the same numbers as used in the Snake's Mouth Jutsu? Last, the snake wraps the enemy. This jutsu doesn't. So virtually inescapable can't apply for it. Remove it. This is a singular direction jutsu.
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Mizuki
Genin
Mizuki


Posts : 23
Ryo : 3200

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PostSubject: Re: Yukiyami Clan   Yukiyami Clan I_icon_minitimeTue Oct 09, 2012 8:46 pm

-Edit bump-

Yes, and fixed for the first question.

Yes, for the second question.

And adjusted on the third question. I believe...
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Dominic Edrick
Shiokage
Dominic Edrick


Posts : 971
Ryo : 64600

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Yukiyami Clan Left_bar_bleue410/410Yukiyami Clan Empty_bar_bleue  (410/410)

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PostSubject: Re: Yukiyami Clan   Yukiyami Clan I_icon_minitimeTue Oct 09, 2012 8:51 pm

I would change the dimensions of the leopard if I were you. The length and width are proportionate to that of a snake. You need to find the proportions that would match an oversized leopard. Length width and Height. Do that and you should be done with this one and we can get to the Ice Explosion technique
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Mizuki
Genin
Mizuki


Posts : 23
Ryo : 3200

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PostSubject: Re: Yukiyami Clan   Yukiyami Clan I_icon_minitimeFri Oct 12, 2012 12:10 pm

-Edit Bump-
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Dominic Edrick
Shiokage
Dominic Edrick


Posts : 971
Ryo : 64600

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Yukiyami Clan Left_bar_bleue410/410Yukiyami Clan Empty_bar_bleue  (410/410)

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PostSubject: Re: Yukiyami Clan   Yukiyami Clan I_icon_minitimeFri Oct 12, 2012 10:14 pm

Ok, now the explosion clone. Normal exploding clones cause burns or knock the enemy back. However, yours is trying to inflict cutting damage and deep at that. If it explodes, it can only cause freezer burning or some level of temporary frost bite. Cutting into someone without the chance of dodging is OP.
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PostSubject: Re: Yukiyami Clan   Yukiyami Clan I_icon_minitime

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