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Kataro Fuma
Genin


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PostSubject: Kataro Fuma    Mon Aug 27, 2012 10:49 pm













First Name: Kataro
Last Name: Fuma
Gender: Male
Height: 6 ft.
Weight: 145 LBS
Age: 20
Birthday: August 27th

Village: Tsundoragakure
Rank: Chunin
Elements: Ice, Water and Wind
Specializations: Ninjutsu, Taijutsu, and Genjutsu



Personality: Kataro is a quiet man with strong convictions, Kataro is unable to see the beauty in the simple things of life and would rather destory an entire village to capture a target ,yet deep down inside he has a soft side to dogs and enjoys staring at the stars during full moons. Being born into the fuma clan kataro was forced to seal most of his emotions away except for anger which in his clans eyes was condisered the only way to embrace the full power of the clans blood line trait Chaotic tundra
Likes: Kataro only prefers a wolf dog hybrid and clear luna nights. He also enjoys spicy food as well as kendo. Kataro is also particular fond of history always liking the stories of old tales and such.
Dislikes: Kataro doesn't acttualy dislike cats they just annoy him a lot since one scrached him on the face one day and every since then his hatred for cats has remained solid. another dislike would be the sun, reason being kataro hates the sun is it burns and it melts the ice statue he creates out of boredom so summer is one of his least loved seasons. Snakes, Kataro can't stand up just the thought of them just makes him shutter and dreams as well just ew there is no such thing as a dream in his eyes.
Motivation: With the loss of his first love Ringo Kataro has become a hopeless romantic and now his one true motivation has risen, to be loved like he once was when Ringo was around, this small thing is what inspires this young shinobi to get up every morning.
Fears: Lighting, Kataro suffered from terrible burns during a lighting storm he was struck by lighting around the young age of seven, he was playing outside of the castle at a small shrine when a fierce storm suddenly appeared and lighting ravaged the skies, Kataro quickly ran to the shrine for cover but was struck by lighting and was nearly killed from the pain ever since then his fear of lightning has been strong.


FUMA

Bloodline: Chaotic tundra
Bloodline Ability: Inables access to ice style justus and allows kataro to combine his twin swords with the power of ice if the enemy is struck with the bokken their body is swiftly frozen in a thin sheet of ice if their sliced by the ninjato their bodies become slowly become encased in a block of ice on the rare chance that their someone in the world that requires for kataro to use both blades his enemy is frozen siwtly in a nearly unbreakible prison of ice.
Location: Tsundoragakure
Clan History: The fuma clan otherwise known as the clan of the red ice demons the Fuma clan cam to be by its founder the sage of ice kojuro fuma kojuro fuma was born in a simple village near Tsundoragakure his family was very poor and was unable to provide a decent education for kojuro to become an offical ninja because of this kojuro's powers was unable to the be nurture for a useful purpose and sadily at the age of four his elder brother got into a fight with him and he froze him in a block of ice. After this in his family he was considered a monster. Koujuro was banished from his family home and was sent to Tsundoragakure to be killed by the kage at the time yet the kage considered kojuro a very powerful child and took him under his wing. Kojuro grew swiftly with the kages training a quickly rose to the rank of jonin as he quickly becmae known as the devil of ice and destruction. kojuro soon met a young women named sophita and quickly fell in love and got married and founded the fuma clan in Tsundoragakure where the clan has prospered for seven generations where all but two clan chiefs had kojuros hair and eyes one being kataro's father and his great grandfathers!



History: Kataro was born into the fuma clan of Tsundoragakure from birth kataro had bloody red hair and icey blue eyes a trait combination that was passed down through the first chiefs family and now only appears once every generation those born with these traits are considered monsters to outsiders and have permently engraved their names in shinobi history as masters of water style jutsu and the pursuers of chaos. At the age of three kataro began to feel a close conection to his clans kekkigenki and obtain the jutsu Chaotic tundra. At the age of ten kataro sat before his clan's chief and simply stared at hims as the chief smiled and gently patted his head and offered him his first bokken and ninjato and ordered him to go the kage and ask for him to enroll in the acadamy. kataro nodded and took his new blades and quickly graduated through the acadamy and was placed in the second squad of his class. Kataro's firist mission was to protect a merchant to the country's border His team completed the mission with only a few short run in with bandits they bid the merchant farewell and returned to their home and they soon began to take on harder and harder misson as their skill began to rise higher then the other groups. A the age of seventenn after they reached chunin his two teammates fell in love and decided to retire leaving kataro alone. kataro had his own goals and decided to stay as a own man team. Kataro's first mission as a one man team was to protect a wealthy maiden who was traveling around the world and had stopped in tsundoragakure for a month to resupply and explore the citys market. The start of the mission kataro despised staying at home for a mission and glared coldly at the young women. Kataro and the maiden named ringo were alking down the the market when a bandit jumped from the shados and tried to steal her bag as kataro quickly slamed the thiefs head against the side of a building as he threw the bag back to ringo she gave him a look that almost made him scared he let the thief go and told that if he wanted to live he'd leave now ringo began to act cold to him for around two weeks until monday kataro had arrived late to began his protection detail with a small white flower called a winter glow Ringo smiled sofltly and gently plated a small kiss of his cheek then slapped him across the face for being late kataro grabed his cheek with a confused look on his face . The fallowing week kataro arrived on time every day and kept ringo safe as they finished up her shopping spree she spoted a small shope selling charms . Ringo without kataro noticing bought a pair of charms that when combined formed a complete yang and yin symbol she smiled and walked over to kataro and offered him the yang symbol and kept the yin for her self . During the final week The village was holding its annual festival for the begining of spring Kataro was standing against the wall waiting for ringo to come out of her room wearing a black kimono with his clans symbol on the back.Ringo walked out of the room wearing a white kimono witha sakura blossoms petals covering the legs and top. kataro was walking with ringo in the city streets as the sun began to set and the festival began to into full swing as the town lit up beautifuly as fireworks slowly began to fill th skies. Kataro and ringo began to climb up to a park on a cliff that over looked the city kataro leaned calmly against the railing looking at the fireworks as ringo moved closer to him, kataro slowly looked down as ringo gave him a quick kiss he pulled her close and held the kiss for a least a mintue ( yes it sounds like a scene from a lovey dovery anime DEAL WITH IT )the two slowly broke apart as ringo had done something he had never done before in his life he smiled .Sadily Ringo left the next day and continued on her journey kataro walked with her the to village gates and looked away sadily as she left his life all together kataro sudenly felt someting cold and wet fall down his right cheek he quickly turned away and jumped onto a nearby a rooftop and continued to jum from roof to roof back to his clans home!
RP Sample: After hearing a rumor of a rare treasure Kataro Fuma gathered supplies at the Tsundoragakune market and headed for the village gates, He pulled his hood over his thick blood red hair as the fierce winds began to rip through the mountains . kataro began to icrease his pace as the a storm blew across the mountains. The storm howled threating to blow kataro all the way back home still kataro pressed on until he saw the it would be dark soon and found a small cave and climbed inside and carefuly sealed the exit so he could keep a little warm as he wraped his cloak around his body as he slowly drifted to sleep preping for tomorrow in his mind before he drifted off to a sound sleep.


Last edited by Nami on Sun Sep 16, 2012 9:38 pm; edited 28 times in total (Reason for editing : App)
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PostSubject: Re: Kataro Fuma    Tue Aug 28, 2012 3:48 pm

-dusts off the old moderator fadora- been a while since I've used this thing, but okay here it goes! Now, I know it's a WIP but I always like the take out things as the happen instead of taking them all on at once so I'll start with what I see and continue as you type it...

1. Don't type the words in-between the code brackets, the color is only supposed to be for the label of each section not the words.

2. The element options are as such, Fire, Wind, Earth, Water, and Lightning. You can only have three and can only have an advanced element (Such as Ice) if you make a clan that uses the element, or go clanless and choose Ice Release as your clanless benefit.

3. The specializations are the following: Taijutsu, Kenjutsu, Ninjutsu, Ijutsu, Genjutsu, Fuuinjutsu and Kyojutsu. You can have up to 4, if you have any questions on the types or their meanings let me know in your next post.

4. Lastly, for now, is the rp sample. It needs to be pretty much like how you would post in a topic here while actually rping, you can make it about ANYTHING your little heart desires, it's just so we know what your rping style is and how it will be to rp with you.

change these and bump the topic so I know to keep going.

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PostSubject: Re: Kataro Fuma    Wed Aug 29, 2012 11:12 pm

Alright, I'm just gonna keep going but remember, every time you edit something you have to post in the topic telling me you edited me so I know to continue...

1. The only way you would be permitted to get the rank of jounin would be if you typed a 1600 word history, as the basic genin history has to be at least 400 plus 400 for every rank above it you want to go.

2. Likes, dislikes, personality, motivation, and fears have to be in paragraph form and I say a minimum of 5-6 sentences each. And if you're going for jounin they would have to be longer than that as you're expected to have a longer app in general for jounin.

3. If you're gonna be in a clan you're gonna need to fill out a clan application in the clan section and if you're going clanless you're gonna have to put N/A in the section.

Lastly, please don't only do bits and pieces of what I ask of you edit it all because don't think just because you bump it I assume everything was done, I'm not THAT bureaucratic with my work, I do proofread. So edit everything I have in this and the previous post and I'll move on.

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Kataro Fuma
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PostSubject: Re: Kataro Fuma    Fri Aug 31, 2012 4:27 pm

-_- I get it

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PostSubject: Re: Kataro Fuma    Fri Aug 31, 2012 4:44 pm

Just doing my job bro

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Kataro Fuma
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Posts : 49
Ryo : 6100

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Chakra:
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PostSubject: Re: Kataro Fuma    Fri Aug 31, 2012 8:24 pm

I know dude and I respect that

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Kataro Fuma
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PostSubject: Re: Kataro Fuma    Mon Sep 03, 2012 1:08 am

Hai

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PostSubject: Re: Kataro Fuma    Mon Sep 03, 2012 1:26 am

Alrighty, first some of the coding still seems to be wrong and some of the sentences are still orange when they should be white. Second what is Bojutsu? Third, you can have two other elements besides water and if what you said in the chat box is correct and you want an advanced element clan you will need to add the element plus the two that make it. and lastly for now is that your app isn't near what we would expect of a jounin so you'll either need to do A LOT of expanding on everything or dropping your rank lower because as I said before, we expect the histories of jounin to be no less than 1600 words.

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Kataro Fuma
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Ryo : 6100

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PostSubject: Re: Kataro Fuma    Sun Sep 09, 2012 11:02 pm

ZzZzZzZ

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Kataro Fuma
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Posts : 49
Ryo : 6100

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PostSubject: Re: Kataro Fuma    Thu Sep 13, 2012 8:37 pm

Blood covered lunar spear The great yukimura sanada has fallen on the battlefield.

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Kataro Fuma
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Posts : 49
Ryo : 6100

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PostSubject: Re: Kataro Fuma    Sat Sep 15, 2012 6:46 pm

FINISHED

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Dominic Edrick
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PostSubject: Re: Kataro Fuma    Sat Sep 15, 2012 6:58 pm

Ok, so, now that you officially posted, time for me to properly moderate this application.

1 - All areas need a single space away from the colon. It is picky yes, but the App looks cluttered with it like that.

2 - You can have up to three elements, not just one. That is, unless you choose to only have one.

3 - You can have up to 4 specializations, not three. That is unless you are choosing to only have three. Keep in mind, the fourth specialization can only get you up to B rank registered techniques, nothing more.

4 - Likes and Motivations need to be in paragraph form.

5 - Although you have your clan section here completed, it won't mean anything until that application is done. So if this is approved, you will have to post without reference to your clan or the use of its techniques until said clan is approved.

That should be enough for you to edit for now. Bump when your finished and I will get to your history, rank, etc. Also, overall punctuation is a bit bad. I don't care too much about that but another mod might. So if you see any small errors like capitalization and or random letters where they shouldn't be, change it to avoid it later. I noticed a random c beside the first word of a section.

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PostSubject: Re: Kataro Fuma    Sun Sep 16, 2012 9:53 pm

Code:
The Following Member "Kataro Fuma" Has chosen not to add another specialization.

~Special bump from a mod, App Edited via help from Nami Doragonhato. Dom you may move on with this application.

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Credit goes to Takeshi
-Alias-
The Burning Light
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Dominic Edrick
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PostSubject: Re: Kataro Fuma    Sun Sep 16, 2012 10:10 pm

Ok, onto the final verdict. Your history, although it may seem to be long enough for Chunin, the writing itself didn't reflect the quality in my personal opinion. So here's the deal. I'm going to approve you to RP. However, until you get into a battle, your rank is kinda unnecessary. So I'm going to let another admin read your history to see if he agrees your app is worthy of Chunin. If they agree, then your rank will be approved.

99.9% of this app......



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PostSubject: Re: Kataro Fuma    Mon Sep 17, 2012 12:47 pm

Pursuing my dreams as a writer, and withholding a firm stance with my moderatory powers.. I'm going to have to say no. I don't mean to sound unprofessional or mean, but I do agree with Dominic. I do not think this is a Chuunin-quality history, and I think you should just shoot for Genin unless you can fix your writing style completely. The very first sentence is probably the biggest run-on sentence I've seen in my brief life, and it's by far not the only one in the history. You didn't capitalize your name anywhere, let alone the first letter of each sentence, let alone anyone else's name. You misspelled nearly everything involving Naruto terms (Like Kekkei Genkai) as well as a lot of other common words, and you structured your story very poorly. Normally things like these wouldn't bother me, but the history is completely littered with them, making the whole history generally very sloppy. Now I don't know if you typed this on a cell phone, or if you're just not the best writer in the world, which is fine. I'm not by any means judging you. But nonetheless, if you want Chuunin, it needs cleaned up. And the RP Sample is much too short for Chuunin in my opinion. I'm going to have to deny this app for Chuunin, but I approve it for Genin.

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