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 Mokey Mokey Clan

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Steven Lordsman
Genin


Posts : 8
Ryo : 1100

Ninja Info Card
Chakra:
160/160  (160/160)

PostSubject: Mokey Mokey Clan    Sat Jun 02, 2012 1:30 am

>.<




Last edited by Raijuta on Tue Jun 12, 2012 12:25 am; edited 3 times in total
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Steven Lordsman
Genin


Posts : 8
Ryo : 1100

Ninja Info Card
Chakra:
160/160  (160/160)

PostSubject: Re: Mokey Mokey Clan    Fri Jun 08, 2012 5:51 pm

>.<


Last edited by Raijuta on Tue Jun 12, 2012 12:25 am; edited 1 time in total
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Dominic Edrick
Shiokage


Posts : 971
Ryo : 64600

Ninja Info Card
Chakra:
410/410  (410/410)

PostSubject: Re: Mokey Mokey Clan    Fri Jun 08, 2012 10:30 pm

Allow me to begin with the Kekkei Genkai. Although I love the concept and how it is laid out, it is incredibly OP. Way too op in fact. This fog not only allows you to decrease vision, but large percentages of other senses as well, along with giving you chakra sensory. Chakra Sensory is strictly for the Clanless other than Hyuuga and Uchiha which are canon clans. Here are other aspects that are too much.

- The Fog has no limit in use or range. In this site, the Hidden Mist only covers certain range.
- You cannot summon actual lightning from the sky. It's auto kill and banned from the site.
- The other levels are too Manipulation based with no chakra cost such as paralyzing just by touching and making electrical prisons.

If you want this mist, here are some adjustments that will maybe allow you to keep it. You can summon it as Kekkei Genkai but it needs limits. It has to have a range and it has to have a limited duration. If you cast this, it can boost your clan hiatus by 20% in damage (One Rank Increase). Either choose the stat reduction of your foe but the numbers have to be reasonable.

Seeing such effort, I hate having to crush it, but this is my job. Great Concept but is just too much.

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Steven Lordsman
Genin


Posts : 8
Ryo : 1100

Ninja Info Card
Chakra:
160/160  (160/160)

PostSubject: Re: Mokey Mokey Clan    Sat Jun 09, 2012 12:14 am

>.<


Last edited by Raijuta on Tue Jun 12, 2012 12:25 am; edited 1 time in total
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Dominic Edrick
Shiokage


Posts : 971
Ryo : 64600

Ninja Info Card
Chakra:
410/410  (410/410)

PostSubject: Re: Mokey Mokey Clan    Sat Jun 09, 2012 10:17 am

I understand where we are mixed up. Usually many register their Kekkei Genkai as a separate ability altogether from their jutsu. It was my fault for not reading the full app. I usually breakdown apps in sections to make sure I don't miss anything. So, allow me to take this app differently. I will go through the jutsu first, then you adjust you Kekkei Genkai section as the numbers adjust for your jutsu. Starting with your first D Rank.

Seitekina Misuto - The numbers for this rank are inflated a bit much. At D Rank, the percentages need to be reduced. A one rank decrease is considered 20% on this site, and usually one rank decreases arent registered until B Rank Techniques. So your percentages need to be in the 1% - 10% range but not every single percentage can be maxed out. You have this looking like an A rank jutsu at the moment.

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Steven Lordsman
Genin


Posts : 8
Ryo : 1100

Ninja Info Card
Chakra:
160/160  (160/160)

PostSubject: Re: Mokey Mokey Clan    Sat Jun 09, 2012 3:02 pm

>.<


Last edited by Raijuta on Tue Jun 12, 2012 12:26 am; edited 1 time in total
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Dominic Edrick
Shiokage


Posts : 971
Ryo : 64600

Ninja Info Card
Chakra:
410/410  (410/410)

PostSubject: Re: Mokey Mokey Clan    Sat Jun 09, 2012 7:31 pm

Seitekina Misuto - Ok, now saying that it reduces vision to only a foot ahead actually seems like it would be a higher percentage than what you gave with the vision loss. Understandably, this is similar to the hidden mist, but remember, your including other factors which means you must give a little for when it comes to visibility. I would say a 10% loss in vision will suffice and I'm cutting you slack on that.

I want you to state that the jutsu lasts for 5 posts then immediately dissipates. Saying full power leaves all the room in the world for you to say its dissipation is still in the process for infinite posts if you wanted. Also, change the cooldown to 8.


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